


Until the End, by Any Means Necessary

by kadharonon



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: All hurt no comfort, Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-03
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-11-08 11:30:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17980514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kadharonon/pseuds/kadharonon
Summary: In which Nathalie is willing to sacrifice everything and Gabriel can’t cope with having to sacrifice anything.Or:The author works through the Extremely Strong Feelings the Season 2 finale left her with by writing short painful snippets of what might lay ahead.





	Until the End, by Any Means Necessary

The first time Nathalie becomes Mayura, she cannot believe how strong she feels.

It was the despair, you see. That stab of pain she felt when she found herself thinking, _I cannot save him._

And a few seconds later, the hope of realizing, _yes I can._

And in the minute it takes to return to Gabriel’s office, to open the safe, to retrieve the Peacock Miraculous, to become Mayura… well, that despair was washed away in a rush of elation instead.

She tries not to listen as the man she loves tells her not to do this, but it’s his voice, echoing through her mind, tight with worry, that is the first thing she remembers when she wakes again with his arms tight around her.

He’s hurt, but alive.

She…

Well, the less she thinks about her own condition, the better.

Just think of it as momentary exhaustion, a weakness that will pass with time. Don’t imagine what the consequences could be of merging with a damaged miraculous over and over, because for right now it was just one time, because…

But she knows she’ll be Mayura again, knows that from now on, Gabriel will throw caution to the wind, throw himself again and again into the desperation of his cause and when… no, _if_ , if he fails, best not to court disaster before they’ve begun, but if he fails again she will be there to catch him.

Because for all she does her best to hide it, she loves all three of them, Adrien and Gabriel and Emilie, and if there’s a chance that they could be back together again, if Gabriel is willing to keep _fighting_ … well, she’ll just keep fighting by his side, for as long as it takes.

All the way to the end.

* * *

The second time Nathalie uses the damaged Miraculous, Gabriel wants to curse. He knew as it was happening that he had pushed too far, risked too much… but he isn’t the one paying for it.

This time she takes longer to wake. This time she’s weaker, the cough is deeper.

“How long were you Mayura for?”

She doesn’t answer him.

“Damn it, Nathalie! Were you… did you…” He doesn’t even know what question he’s trying to ask. “We agreed you would only take this risk when it became necessary. It was unnecessary today.”

Nathalie lets out a little breathless laugh at that, and her fingertips skate across his cheekbone, as light as a feather. “Liar,” she says, a smile almost on her face.

“I’m here, aren’t I?”

She shakes her head at him. “You wouldn’t have been. And you know it.”

This time it’s Gabriel’s turn not to answer.

* * *

The third time Nathalie becomes Mayura, she makes herself feel strong, because she knows about the weakness that comes after. The next time she knows anything about her surroundings, she finds herself in her bed.

Each breath is a struggle.

Gabriel is sitting there, on the edge of the bed, his back to her, his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands, his glasses on the bed beside him. She aches to wrap her arms around him, to comfort him.

Everything else aches, too. Every attempt to move feels like pushing through mud. She manages to raise her arms a bare inch before giving up and letting them fall back to the bed.

Gabriel must have heard that movement, though, because he… was he crying? A handkerchief appears, swipes across Gabriel’s cheeks, its purpose not visible from where she’s laying there, feeling like the worst flu in the world has her in its grasp.

He puts his glasses back on, but doesn’t turn.

“You weren’t breathing,” he says.

“Breathing… now,” she forces out.

“I’ve taken the peacock miraculous back.”

“No.”

“Yes.” He turns, finally, and he’s furious. “I will not… I cannot watch you do this to yourself.”

“To… the… end,” she manages, but he’s shaking his head.

“Not like this.” He takes her hand in his, squeezing it tight. “Any other way. But not like this.”

* * *

Gabriel has done it. He has them both, the Ladybug and the Cat, and he has their wish at his fingertips.

“A price must be paid,” the ladybug kwami says.

“The balance must be kept,” the cat kwami says.

“Whatever I must pay, I will pay it.”

“Then you must choose: who will take the place of your wife?” The kwamis ask in unison.

“Pick anyone,” he hisses. “It does not matter.”

“You don’t understand.” The ladybug kwami sounds sad as she says it.

“You must choose: to return someone you treasure so deeply to life, someone you love must take her place.” The cat almost sounds gleeful, as if he’s taking joy in mocking Gabriel, after Gabriel spent so much time pursuing the kwamis and their miraculouses.

“So choose,” the ladybug says. A light appears over Adrien, where he’s huddled in the corner of Hawkmoth’s lair, and separates him from the girl he’s curled protectively around, the girl who was once Ladybug. The light drags Adrien until he is kneeling in front of Gabriel, his teeth gritted, his eyes still full of anger and hatred.

“Yes, choose,” the cat says, and a visible darkness nudges Nathalie into a stumbling walk forwards, until she’s standing there at Adrien’s side.

 _She should look startled_ , Gabriel finds himself thinking, but instead of showing surprise she calmly tucks her clipboard under her arm and meets his gaze evenly. “Well. I guess this is the end, isn’t it?”

Gabriel shakes his head. “Not like this.”

She smiles. “You already used that one.”

“Nathalie…”

“She’s your wife, Gabriel. And you promised her.”

“She wouldn’t want…”

“By any means necessary.”

“She could not have meant this.”

Nathalie smiles again. “Oh, my love. You have always wanted everything, haven’t you? But even you had to learn some day that you cannot have it all.”

Once, long ago, when he’d realized that Emilie would never wake again—not without a miracle—he’d thought his heart would never recover.

But somehow it had.

Just in time to break again.


End file.
